that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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