So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
