It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
