Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
