Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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