let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
