The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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