I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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