I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
