Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he puts the penis in happiness.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
and you fell through a lawn chair
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
