hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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