he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize