People in love make me want to vomit
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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