now i know why i became what i already was.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
