And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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