Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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