So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
