i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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