Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
