I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
