We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
