i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
