Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They have beer where we have blood.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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