hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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