So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize