all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
