i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
