Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
