singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You made out with two different species that night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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