i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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