perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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