So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
