to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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