i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize