It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
