she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
