I like to think it a success when the cops are called
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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