My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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