Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
