They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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