at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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