What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
