Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
