I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
