the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
