I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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