Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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