**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
