The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
