She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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