One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize