At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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