he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
