just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
