yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
