I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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