I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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