this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
