Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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