i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were trust falling into bushes
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'