The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?