So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?