Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is