Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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